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Em *SMUSH!*
I have a new secretary. I broke the last one with the amount of work I expected her to do. We also have a new audio dictating thingie wotsit which means I dictate into something that closely resembles the mutant offspring of a vibrator and ladyshave and then it goes straight to a holding server where the secretary collects the work and then audio-types it.
In theory a lot less hassle and better quality then recording onto tapes and giving those to the secretary to audio-type.
Ha!
So, new secretary who knows how to do *nothing* so I keep having to stop what I am doing and explain, plus fucking stupid new dictaphone thingie where you have to press record twice to stop, *plus* loads of work that needs doing right now. You do the math.
I forsee a rampage through the office with a sword in my very near future.
*goes back to staring menacingly at dictaphone thingie*
I have a new secretary. I broke the last one with the amount of work I expected her to do. We also have a new audio dictating thingie wotsit which means I dictate into something that closely resembles the mutant offspring of a vibrator and ladyshave and then it goes straight to a holding server where the secretary collects the work and then audio-types it.
In theory a lot less hassle and better quality then recording onto tapes and giving those to the secretary to audio-type.
Ha!
So, new secretary who knows how to do *nothing* so I keep having to stop what I am doing and explain, plus fucking stupid new dictaphone thingie where you have to press record twice to stop, *plus* loads of work that needs doing right now. You do the math.
I forsee a rampage through the office with a sword in my very near future.
*goes back to staring menacingly at dictaphone thingie*
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From:
*drools*
Look petal, you know that if you can get your shapely arse over here the job is yours!
Now stop teasing me, I can do without distractions like that running through my mind.
*contemplates Talisa in stickings and corset*
You'd give most of my senior partners heart failure!
From:
Re: *drools*
Having said that I very nearly did give a senior partner heart failure. The good thing about this? Competing firm for a tender. I have all the right solutions to problems of this nature.
Step 1. Walk into board room dressed head to toe in Red silk pinstripe suit with corset under jacket and skirt with hip high split and knee high boots.
Step 2. Say nothing until opportune moment in which the gentlemen don't really know what they have agreed upon as they are trying to figure out if you really are wearing underwear.
Step 3. Walk out of board room with !Mentor!, smiling demurely, tender contract in briefcase and hips twitching just enough to hear the drool splash on the tabletop.
Step 4. Contemplate machinations of evil brain while attempting to stop !Mentor! from jibbering in car on drive back to office.
Step 5. Repeat when necessary.
Those were the good old days when under solicitors hadn't heard that manipulation is your friend.
And if I have it my way I will be over there mid next year. Brisbane is sucking my soul through my nose at an unprecedented rate.