evildrem | Let's talk about sex..

Okay people, this has been prompted by a number of conversations I seem to have had recently.

*1* How do you deal with educating your partner in your sexual needs?

*2* How do you go about finding out if your partner is enjoying themselves or enjoying what you are doing?

*3* Would you be offended if your partner made suggestions on how to improve your sexual relationship?

I'd love some input here from all of you *pokes f-list* because it seems like information which is just not shared enough.

Personally I have little to no embarrassment threshold when it comes to discussing sex or what turns me on. Anyone who knows me personally, knows this. *grins* I am, however, aware that I am somewhat in the minority when it comes to this and also that at times that can be a bit intimidating.

Communication between sexual partners on what they want/don't want seems to be an area fraught with problems and emotional land mines. I really, strongly feel that this is something people can help everyone with by discussing openly.

So, I declare open season. Answer my 3 questions and then feel free to ask anything else you want. Let's broaden each other's minds and swop some tips!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Date: 2005-06-30 04:45 pm (UTC)

From:

evildrem.livejournal.com

Yay for openess

..and Yay for Fox and anyone who ends up in bed him him :)

I'm guessing here that you'd be mortified if you were to find out that someone you were having sex with was not enjoying it at all?

Women in particular find it very hard to raise the issue of what they like because they are scared of hurting the male ego. Would you say that's the same for men as well?

Date: 2005-06-30 04:55 pm (UTC)

noize.livejournal.com

Re: Yay for openess

Yeah, i think i would be. I am very submissive when it comes to sex, but not so submissive that i will just lie there if nothing is really.. happening, as such. I aim to please, and i would hope that X partner would be doing the same :)

In general however, i think i have a feminine view of sex. I don't believe for one second that there is 100% equality in a sexual relationship. I think some males like to play top a lot, 'prove their worth as a man' etc, maybe that's just a very cynical and generalised view, and to have something suggested to them, they may worry that they are crap in bed, may find things like that are a sore point for future convo.

Date: 2005-06-30 05:01 pm (UTC)

Interesting..

Of course you are thinking along the sub pathway so your probably more receptive to the idea of someone taking control in a sexual situation and/or expressing an opinion.

I think many people find it difficult to actually allow themselves to be in a submissive situation sexually, even though that is actually what they want. That's a whole other kettle of fish though :)

Personally I think the majority of men are left in the unenviable situation of being the ones who are expected to make the first move and know what they are doing. I've always taken the view that no one minds a little guidance as its better then absolutely no feedback at all.

Date: 2005-06-30 11:19 pm (UTC)

elseware.livejournal.com

Re: Interesting..

More than that, it can be very exciting and reassuring for someone to make it clear what they want you to do, as you can just pile on in without needing to hold back and do the whole mood killing "is that OK?" bit.